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| Source: Google |
Conversation is the essence of interpersonal communication.
Interpersonal communication is a personal type of conversation. Conversation
can happen through face-to-face and online. It takes place in 5 steps. Opening
is the first step in conversation, it involves greeting. For example, "Hi,
I'm xxx." Feedforward is the second step of conversation. Feedforward can
open the channels of communication and preview future message. Example for the
first function would be "Haven't we met before? " and example for
second use is " I think I have a bad news for you." The third step is
business or these substances of the conversation. It emphasizes that most
conversations are directed at accomplishing some tasks. For instance, you can
talk about what happened in your surroundings, what is your vacation plans. The
fourth step is feedback. It is the reverse of second step in conversation. It
is normally is a response to what the speaker says. The last step is closing,
it indicates goodbye. Closing involves the combination of verbal and nonverbal.
For instance, "It was great chatting with you. Bye *waving*"
Principles of Conversation
There are 4 principles
in a conversation which are turn-taking, dialogue, immediacy and flexibility.
Throughout the speaking-listening process, both speaker and listener need to
exchange cues for conversational turns. This enables speaker and listener to communicate
effectively. Speakers enhance the conversation by turn-maintaining cues and
turn-yielding cues. Using turn-maintaining cues, meaning to say you can remain
your role as a speaker. For example, continuing gestures to show that you are
not completed your thoughts yet; avoid eye contact with listeners to show you
are not passing your speaking turn to them. Whereas turn-yielding cues are used
when the speaker is done and is ready to switch their role with the listener.
For instance, you can ask listeners questions to let them voice out their
opinions and try to have direct eye contact with them. For listeners, they can
use turn-requesting cues, turn-denying cues, backchanneling cues and
interruptions. Turn-requesting cues is let the speaker knows that you want to
speak. Turn-denying cues show your reluctance of playing the role as speaker.
You can answer "I don't know ' by showing that you have nothing to say. Backchanneling
cues communicate the information back to speaker without assuming the role of
speaker. You can try to ask for clarification or give vocalization like "Uhm
..Hmm " to indicate agreement or disagreement. Interruptions is the
opposite meaning of backchanneling cues, it attempts to take over the role of
speaker like changing to a new topic when others are discussing about a certain
issue.
Principle of Dialogue
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| Source: Google |
Principle of Dialogue is
a synonym for conversation but it is simpler than conversation. Each person
acts as speaker and listener simultaneously in dialogue. The aim of dialogue is
gain mutual understanding and empathy. While listening, the listener will give
you cues like nonverbal nods and paraphrasing to show that he or she is
actually paying attention to what you say. On the other hand, monologue is the
opposite side of dialogue. Only one person speaks in dialogue, there is no
interaction between the speaker and listener. The speaker only focus on own
goals and does not concern on the listener's feeling or opinions. Hence, the
listener will not give cues because he or she is less interested in you.
Principle of Immediacy
Principle of Immediacy
defines effective conversation. It is the creation of closeness, a sense of
togetherness, of oneness between the speaker and listener. You can further
communicate immediacy by self-disclosing yourself, express your positive point
of view, talk about commonalities and smile always. However, bear in mind that
immediacy behavior is only for in-depth communication so this behavior may not respond
in those who are fearful about communication.
Principle of Flexibility Conversations
Principle of
Flexibility Conversations vary depending on the people involved, the topics
being discussed about, the physical context and other factors so the
conversationalists need to be flexible. You have to imagine you are in a
specific situation, consider the course of actions and estimate how much this
choice would be similar to the choice you had made in same situation. All these
steps are important because they enable you get a clearer idea of flexibility.
Besides, we can increase our flexibilities by analyzing the specific
conversational situation, mindfully consider the available choices, estimate
potential advantages and disadvantages as well as competently communicate the
choices.
Conversational
Correctives – Giving the Excuse or the Apology
· ·
The Excuse – explanation to
lessen the negative and to defend yourself
I didn’t do: deny
what you have done
It wasn’t so bad: claim the offense was
not really so bad
Yes,
but…: you didn’t intend to do what you did
*Good excuse makers
use excuse in moderation but bad excuse makers use it too often
·
The Apology – an expression of regret for something you did
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| Source:http://www.bubblews.com/news/644729-apologies-to-my-bubblews-friends |
o Effective
apologies
§ Admit
wrong being and accept responsibility
§ Say
and mean that you are really sorry
§ State
specifically rather than in general
§ Offer
to correct the problem
§ Express
your regret that this has created a problem
o Non-effective
apologies
§ Apologies
in unnecessary situation
§ Justify
your behaviour that everyone do it
§ Accusing
other for the problem
§ Include
excuses with the apology
§ Take
easy way out to apologies
Compliment
– is a message of praise;
it’s a way of relating to another person with positivity and immediacy
§ Giving
a compliment
o Be
real and honest of what you say
o Compliment
in moderation but not exaggerate
o Avoid
qualifying your compliments
o Be
specific, direct your compliment
o Be
personal in your own feelings
§ Receiving
a compliment
o People
generally take it as denial or acceptance
o Many
people deny it by minimize the compliment
o An
acceptance of compliment might consist of smile with eye contact, a simple
thank you, a brief personal explanation, etc...
Advice
– giving another person a
suggestion for thinking or behaving
§ Meta
advice – advice about advice
o To
explore choices and options
§ Focus
on helping the person explore the available option
o To
seek expert advice
§ Seeking
advice from expert of the field
o To
delay decision
§ Delay
the decision while additional information is collected
§ Giving
advice
o Listen
to the speaker without interrupting
o Empathize
§ Recall
similar situations you were in
o Be
tentative
§ Gives
advice with qualification it requires
o Offer
different options to your advice
o Ensure
understanding to the person you are giving advice
o Keep
the interaction confidential
§ Responding
to advice
o Accept
what the person say even if you think there is another option
o Resist
the temptation the criticize the person who are giving advice
o Interact
and understand the advice given
o Appreciate
the advice and express gratitude in return
Activity: For this lesson, we were asked to provide examples for the four principles of conversation
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