Today, just like every single normal day of class, before the lecture
begin, students chat, joked around and there even some playing with their phones.
Everyone is just waiting for time to pass by. When Mr. Anwari arrived and spoke
in front of the class, his words were like just bypassing our ears. Frankly,
most of us were just hearing not listening (remember what we learned in chapter
3?). In the midst of the chatters and laughter, two words which Mr. Arwin spoke
caught our attention. Those two words would be…
POP QUIZ!
We were all like “WHAT!” and of course with a kind of shock
expression on our faces.
What a relief when we found out that it is just a joke. No pop quiz
for the day after all. All the butterflies in the stomach flew away immediately-just
kidding. Ok, so now that there is no pop quiz, we were given a small task
instead. It is kind of like an activity. Each group was given a few subtopic s from
chapter 5 to discuss among ourselves and then we were to share to them with
other groups. After discussion among our group members here’s what we learned
from this activity:
First, we learned that Messages Vary in Politeness.
Polite messages reflect positively on the other person and respect
the other’s person right not only to be independent but also autonomous.
Impolite messages attack our needs to be seen positively. It also
attacks our need to be autonomous.
The politeness and directness of messages could be divided into
direct and indirect messages.
Direct messages
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Indirect messages
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ü Less polite
ü It is more like a command
ü Example: Take that pencil for me.
|
ü A polite interaction
ü Express your desire without offending or
insulting someone.
ü Example: A person you dislike talks with
you. Instead of saying “I don’t like to talk to you.” You can say “Sorry, I
am busy now, can we chat later?”
|
Besides that, there is also a form of politeness online. Netiquette
is a set of specific rules for politeness which is used in internet
communication. Some of the netiquette guidelines include familiarizing yourself
with the site before contributing, be brief, don’t shout (words written in CAPS
are perceived as shouting), don’t spam or flame and most importantly, avoid
offensive language.
There even some popular networking sites which have their rules of
politeness such as be gentle, social, positive, discrete and considerate.
Secondly, we discussed on the topic Messages Vary in Assertiveness.
The last thing we discussed about the
subtopic- Messages Can Deceive.
 |
| Source:http://sarasmusings.wordpress.com/2013/09/19/the-truth-about-lying/ |
Sometimes, people lie when conveying
messages. What is lying? Lying is the act of sending messages
with the intention of giving people information you believe to be false. It
involves verbal and/or non-verbal message you send to another person. The
message sent is meant to deceive someone. Lying is when you send information that
you know are untrue. You have intention to mislead that person. However if you
send false information and you are not aware that the information is false then
it is not lying. We usually see that every lie is common as a lie is a lie. However lies can differ from one another too. McGinley (2000) has a useful system that
categorizes lies into four different types.
Pro-social deception
(To achieve some good)
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To boost someone’s
confidence or make them feel good about themselves
Some pro-social lies are expected and to not tell a lie would be considered impolite
|
Self-enhancement
(To make yourself look good)
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Make
yourself look great for the first good impression, but what you tell might
actually be deceiving.
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Selfish deception
(To Protect Yourself)
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Involves minor
things like not answering the phone just because you do not want to do
although you are free.
This type of lie
could hurt others too.
|
Anti-social deception
(To harm someone)
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Includes
spreading rumours and accusing others for our own wrongdoings.
|
Now that we know what lying is all about let's move on to the next information. The last topic in Messages Can Deceive really caught our attention. It is on The Behavior of Liars. It is always not easy for us to detect who is lying and who is not. This becomes more difficult when we have known that person for a long time especially towards those whom we are involved together in a long-term relationship. The main factor is due to the truth bias whereby we always assume what that person saying is true. Next we have lie bias. In this case, we always assume that the person is telling a lie. With that, always remember that :
"Beneath a truth there might be many hidden lies and beneath the lies there might still be a chance for a single truth"
Do not judge the truth or lies immediately. Look for the facts first. But, if you really want people to trust you, never lie (might be impossible, cause we do lie at times depending on the situation) as sometimes all it takes its a lie for people to lose faith in you.
That is all for now. Find out more of the lessons on verbal messages in the following post. Thank you for taking your time to go through this.
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